measuring progress

It can be quite discouraging to look at all this data that I'm collecting for my kids sometimes. Sometimes you look at it and realize, "wait, a minute, this is exactly where she was a year ago!" And at first I feel bad for myself and about myself, but then I think about the kid and that is when it gets truly heartbreaking.

My drama queen, who gives my instructional assistant a run for her money, works SO well for me. She knows I like her so she really tries. Her response to just a little bit of praise, a little bit of verbal recognition that, "you can do it!" is astounding. I wish I could just work with her all day despite the fact that her progress is slow, slow, slow and she often backtracks. It can be quite discouraging. But what I've realized is that, in her case, this is even more discouraging to her, so there is no reason for me to get all upset about it.

She is in 5th grade and can't read. At all. I'm starting this new reading program with her and I showed her the end of the book. I said, "When we're done, you're going to be able to read this." Maybe I shouldn't have done that. She didn't get visibly excited and jump up and down, but she just said, "So, I'll be able to read chapter books?" The girl loves stories. She loves acting out stories that she has made up and she listens with rapt attention to anything I read aloud. She gets nothing out of the early reader books that she can only barely read. She asks me at least once a week if there are any chapter books at her level. I try to explain that you have to start with where you're at and you can't skip steps in reading, but she doesn't care.

And she's not the only one. She is the lowest, but there are others who are just stuck at only reading a few words and not really being able to break apart new words in order to read them. It's hard to know what to tell the parents. It's hard to not feel like it's my fault.

THIS is my job. Teaching is my job. If only all the paperwork didn't get in the way of my job.